I Cannot Recall

what is it

that makes us tick

that makes us

lie and cheat

what is the reason

behind our reasoning

is it feelings

of ours or another's

that we consider

that we don't wish to hurt

why is it

i want to hurt you

yet i cannot

i cannot bring

myself to hurting you

where is the reason

to my own thinking

have i lost it

has it gone astray

floating endlessly in space

never to be found

or am i hiding it

underneath my own feelings

for all they seem to do

is cloud everything

No Expression

why is it every time i open my mouth
nothing comes out
do i not have control over myself?
my body wants one thing
and my mind another
too many feelings i feel
fear clouds everything i know and love
so it controls me, until i can control it
fear is my enemy and it shall one day fall
and on that day, my voice shall be heard

Cages

signs on the wrong side of the road

yet it feels right on target

i suffer and feel the need to cry

but my body produces no tears

a car on a single endless road

and i know where it is going

the dark spotted sky begins to rip away in pieces

so i can see what there truly is

and what i see i haven't before

and it calms and comforts me

It Wouldn't Hurt, I Guess Not

is anything wrong? or does it all have a meaning that gives the "action" justification. for what i wish to do, i feel no regret or bad feelings about, does that make me inhuman, or just prove that i am human? does it ruin the relevance of these questions if i really don't care what the answer is, cause i don't.


i want to pick things up and throw them back twice as hard. say things to her face to make her cry. i wish to make her feel like shit, give her a taste of her own medicine. i want to push her in front of a moving bus to see if they can stop in time. i want to break her. load so much wait on her back and watch while she crumbles from the weight. i want to push her off a cliff to see how she screams on the way down. point a gun to her face to see what face she will then make, see if she begs for her life, as grand as it may be. i want to rip her tongue out so she may never utter another word of complaint.


and yet, i cannot find the strength to do any of it. my weaknesses stop me from a confrontation, it will never allow me to follow through, but there may be hope.

People are Simply People

people do things because that's what they know, its what they are comfortable with. just because it doesn't suit you doesn't mean that it doesn't suit them.

people are all different, and therefore express themselves differently. not everyone is going to do it the exact same way, where is the fun in that?

why do people do what they do? no one can be sure, but why do writers write, why do singers sing and write lyrics, why do poets write poetry. its what they know, its what they like.

you may say hidden, but for them its right out in the open and you just don't get it. hidden is what you know, hiding behind what you have, pushing it in our faces for us to choke on. the moment may pass, but people remember.

There is No Please

there are only so many ways

that people know how to do things

too bad we're not perfect like you

we move along in life best we can

with what we know and the funny thing is

we learn, we are always learning what works

and what doesn't, just because it works

for you doesn't mean that it will ever work

for us, for me, why you ask

well let me tell you

we, the people of this world

are ALL individuals and

we all have different thoughts

different ways that we do things

and those ways work for us

so here it is

stop bitching about everything that

doesn't work for you

cause its not all about you

and it never will be

What i Know

i have plenty of dirty little secrets, the real question is do you want to hear them? i encourage you to confess the truth.

i love the taste of metal

i want to do things for my friends to be nice but then dont cause you can only get so far with nice

i find that female singers are hot

i hate writing with pencils

it bugs the hell out of me when people forget to turn their blinker off

i agologize too much

i really dont like dogs

i like to chew on things, whether they have been on the ground or not

the smell of where my grandparents live is wonderful

people dont listen to my advice or my guidence and it pisses me off cause i often know what im talking about

i think that i would be a club rat if i had the chance to go to one, cause i like the atmosphere so much, minus the drinking

i think that doing drugs and alcohol is one of the dumbest things you can do

the smell of the soap in my kitchen is really good

singing at the top of my lungs in my car alone is one of the best stress/anger reliever for me

i would do most anything for my friends at anytime that i know who would return the favor

i hate large amounts of bass

i hate mowing the lawn with a burning passion

i want to be in a ship wreck

it would be a miricle for me if i was stranded on an island or in the wild

i love winter and the snow that comes with it

i really hate soggy ceral cereal

i had to look up how to spell cereal

i always have to be doing something

space is confusing

stars shine for no one, they do it because they know nothing else

im an extremly destructive person, but have learned to somewhat control it

my shoulders are double jointed

i find myself slightly insane

i would much rather live in a world of darkness

i hate electric/computer cords

i love talking to people

i have always liked to sing

i would much rather live in either 2000 bc, 500 bc, 100 bc, 55 bc, or 600 ad

i love history with a passion

i have a great memory and do remember random things

i want to start a forest fire and get away with iti hate having chapped lips, cause the i pick at them

i like to pick scabs

i dont really like being tan

i only like tha juice of salsa

i like to argue