Rant Away

i cant take this anymore. i really cant see anything worth looking forward to, cause there is nothing for me. i have no one. i have nothing. i am nothing. i see no point in it all anymore. i do nothing. i have nothing to show for myself. i just cant take it anymore. the long lonely nights, the cold days alone. they are always the same. my life means nothing. its the same every day, and its nothing short of sad and pathetic. i cant be who i want without ridicule following me. i feel no comfort where i lay my head. i cant do anything i want. i cant see the people i want. i want to cry but pain blockades the tears from falling. music has not a hold upon me any longer, it means nothing. i feel nothing from it, and more simply i feel nothing but pain and misery. and at this point i blame people, and not just me. for it is not just my blame to have. sure its me that has no motivation to do anything. yet when i do try to look into things to move my life along, they get fucked up by a huge wall in the road. so i share the blame with the builders of the wall, my parents. ignorant. stupid. foolish. they are what i never hope to be. no money. no house. no life but work. all blanketed with lies. and their problems get passed right on to us, their children. no college fund. no responsible decisions. no willingness to be the parent. i have in the past stepped up, to make dinner, take care of the ones that needed caring, tending of the house. no parent should sit back while the child slaves. i want it all to end. there is no point. and i blame them. living in a house that isn't ours. sharing a room with them. i have no privacy. no say. and all i feel is pain. hatred. anger. i want away from them forever. but nowhere to go and no how to get there. i am trapped here. to suffer alone. all caused by the hands of their poor fucking decisions. and their answer; got to pull together and get through this hard time. bullshit. this is their problem and we are the ones to suffer, i am the one to suffer. never any food. no conversation. i am alone. all i ever hear are arguments, bitching and excuses, when there is room for none. parental responsibilities have for so long been pushed upon me, when they sit and do nothing. fed up. and with no one to turn to. beginning to think i have not a friend. life just doesn't seem worth the battle without laughter, happiness, truth, freedom, beauty, friendship, and most of all love. and now once again i begin to see death in the corner, and he looks so inviting.