Atlas

feel the pain. the darkness surrounding me. nothing i want. no motivation. pushing things away. i have been here before. its a dark and eerie place. never wished to be back here. cant seam to bring myself to smile. can even find the darkness on the sunniest days. don't know who to turn to anymore. i drive them away. cant always listen to the voice from within. yet it is so strong and has its say. drive the knife deeper yet. the cold steel is felt against my beating heart. can i be the only one. i feel so alone. might as well be on mars. cant breath anyway. frustration take my lungs hostage. trapping the air from moving. becoming stagnant. cant last much longer. isolation seems to me my cure for now. its all i feel. its all i want. not sure who to trust in these days that we now live. day to day the sun comes up. and yet all i see is the darkness it creates. there is nothing that you or i can do about it. we all must play the game. its an easy concept and yet we struggle with it so. but is this suppose to be. are we to struggle. people say its a test. it strengthens us. allowing us to move forward. but when you live in darkness there clearly is no light. no reason. no purpose to move forward. all the while here i am. alive and taking up space in this forever shrinking world. where do i come in. where do we all come in. when it is that we cant combine our efforts. we cant unite under one power to bring about peace and a way of life that allows us to simply live life. for years to come. who do we turn to now to save us. our neighbor. our family. our friends. where are we to turn when you yourself don't know who to trust any longer. times of darkness we have reached. a period of darkness i find myself in. alone. you cant see the writing on the wall when the room you reside in holds no light.

Ego

run to the bathtub for your soup is boiling. slip on the soap and add some flavor. dripping cold water hits the surface. steam rises and peals the wallpaper. gravity holds onto the fallen paper of wall and wont let go. added color to soup masks the bottom of the pot and coats the spoon made from wood of the amazon. picking up flavors along the way.

Look Up

take me back to the stars

for i wish to dance among

them one last time

with you in your arms

bring me to the moon

and let us take a walk

upon its silky surface

for i cannot think of

anything more romantic

let us make our way

to the milky way

for i want to lie within

it one last time with you

may we find our way

to the ends of the system

cause one last dip

on Neptune would sooth

my achy thoughts

may we never forget

sitting upon the rings of Saturn

those warm evenings

watching as the enchanting

comets would streak across the galaxy

let us not forget

those cold nights on Pluto

so alone with no one

but you and your warmth

Sad Times

i know its wrong. and i know i should feel this way. but i do. there is no way out. I'm being pulled apart on the inside. while on the outside i show nothing. i need out.
not being able to see my friends or even being able to get out of the house, sorry my mistake "house." I'm a prisoner in a place that i never wanted to be anyway. and i hate it here.
i cant feel anymore, anything positive anyway. there are no good feelings that surge through my body and i hate not feeling good about myself.
I'm irritated all the time and its taking me down. its dragging me down. and i don't know how much longer i can hold it together. and i hate not knowing if ill even want to get up tomorrow.
I'm surrounded by people who don't care. they look after themselves and that is. its not right when they have obligations. some people should never be parents, and i got stuck with two of them. not to mention a sibling that would rather see the world end than to extend her hand out t help someone. i fee nothing for them anymore, nothing but hate.
the majority of the people that fill this world are evil. and they take it out on people that stand out against the norm. its not right of them. and still they do it, not caring. we will destroy ourselves. and i don't think that day is too far ahead. this world is ruined and i hate it.
I'm in an ocean of sound. lost at sea with no map and no wind. i have no energy left to row. my ship will go down. and i have no voice to scream out, no on hears me anyway and i hate that.
I've got no will, no way and no say. what is life without. what has happened to me.
i hate everything.

Breath of Explosion

I sit alone in the dark listening to the music my fingers create
and beyond the murmur of this beautiful piano
I hear a low roar as if a plane was sweeping the sky for clouds
I freeze myself in time and lie in silence
I look to the window as if it would help me to hear the roar better
out of the corner of my eye I see my over used water bottle
the water shows that it may be more than just a sound
the glass beings to dance while the pictures upon the wall fear
upon standing I make my move and pull back the curtains
through the thickening darkness created by the trees a light, two of them
moving slowly straight for the house in which I reside
I know what it is and my body fills with adrenaline and excitement
there was always a reason for the gun cabinet to always be unlocked and ready
they are coming and will not accept anything but the death of me
the boots now upon my feet and the jacket enclosing the holsters underneath
the cabinet fears for it now is lonely and has not but any company
impregnated holsters while my hands feel the cold clean feel of raw power
a crunch echoes across the midnight soaked lawn as the rock underneath makes contact
I find comfort in darkness for I am death itself and nothing short of a creature of night
lights shine across the cottage that held my protection against the day
the metal rolling creature opens releasing its deadly bastards that look to the moon
entering the house from all sides as if planned to ambush it backfires
unknowingly they walk into the monstrosity that I left specifically for them
the night becomes showered with a fiery display of orange and yellows
contrast becomes great as the once flying red and silver pieces now rest upon the green
my impression is left in the earth as I stand watching the demolition among the trees
nothing left but death allowing my journey to continue onward until first light

Rant Away

i cant take this anymore. i really cant see anything worth looking forward to, cause there is nothing for me. i have no one. i have nothing. i am nothing. i see no point in it all anymore. i do nothing. i have nothing to show for myself. i just cant take it anymore. the long lonely nights, the cold days alone. they are always the same. my life means nothing. its the same every day, and its nothing short of sad and pathetic. i cant be who i want without ridicule following me. i feel no comfort where i lay my head. i cant do anything i want. i cant see the people i want. i want to cry but pain blockades the tears from falling. music has not a hold upon me any longer, it means nothing. i feel nothing from it, and more simply i feel nothing but pain and misery. and at this point i blame people, and not just me. for it is not just my blame to have. sure its me that has no motivation to do anything. yet when i do try to look into things to move my life along, they get fucked up by a huge wall in the road. so i share the blame with the builders of the wall, my parents. ignorant. stupid. foolish. they are what i never hope to be. no money. no house. no life but work. all blanketed with lies. and their problems get passed right on to us, their children. no college fund. no responsible decisions. no willingness to be the parent. i have in the past stepped up, to make dinner, take care of the ones that needed caring, tending of the house. no parent should sit back while the child slaves. i want it all to end. there is no point. and i blame them. living in a house that isn't ours. sharing a room with them. i have no privacy. no say. and all i feel is pain. hatred. anger. i want away from them forever. but nowhere to go and no how to get there. i am trapped here. to suffer alone. all caused by the hands of their poor fucking decisions. and their answer; got to pull together and get through this hard time. bullshit. this is their problem and we are the ones to suffer, i am the one to suffer. never any food. no conversation. i am alone. all i ever hear are arguments, bitching and excuses, when there is room for none. parental responsibilities have for so long been pushed upon me, when they sit and do nothing. fed up. and with no one to turn to. beginning to think i have not a friend. life just doesn't seem worth the battle without laughter, happiness, truth, freedom, beauty, friendship, and most of all love. and now once again i begin to see death in the corner, and he looks so inviting.

Before It Can Stop

schools suffer

under the thumb

of corrupt bureaucrats

causing a reverberation

throughout the

generations to come