Tell it Like it Is

nothing i can do. i cant let it all out like i would like to. words wont flow, like i have said. i cant be the person i want. i cant do the things i want to. i cant stand up for myself. my life kinda sucks right now. people are leaving. friends are gone. i cant even talk to the one person that i feel comfortable to talk about anything with. its complete, I'm finally a slave in life. all i have left are the thoughts of wanting to do something else, something i want. yet i stand here and do nothing as i watch the slave owners clamp shackles on me. I'm scared for whats to come. i find no enjoyment in what i use to. not conversations. not books. not research. not games. not writing. not music. not singing. I'm broken and the tape wont hold long. I'm going down to a deep dark place i have been before, no not the mines of Moria, but worse, far worse. somewhere i wish never again to see. yet that's where my one stop ticket is leading to. i cant even express how i feel about this right now. i cant find words. tired of life. tired of being sad. i see no point. funny, when you see everyday as beautiful, no matter the weather. use to be happy all the time. was it like a drug? was i bound to crash? is it balance for the universe? this hate is building up inside me, and one day it will blow, erupt, spew. the pressure is building. thought about many things recently to cause a game over. waste my last life? don't know. don't know. end of transmission