Air Filled Bottles

peering out the window will not be as it was the day before. each gaze becomes anew. a different thought. a varying memory. a new memory. a different time. under different circumstances. different reason. a different you. me. he. she. them. they. a whole new experience. the only variant that has but to change is the window itself. an object that allows and creates such variance, yet it itself has none.

Archaic

i lie sleepless in my bed. at a time when sleep should have come hours ago. my mind circling around a single thought, a single person that i wish to remember.

with slight hesitating i get up and re-awaken my computer from its own slumber. as if jealous that i cannot sleep so easily. i sit as it wipes the crust out of its eyes and i think.

motionless as a thought process begins to unravel. can i bring myself to accomplish what it is i set out to do; write about a missed one, someone who i wish to see once more? spiraling, twisting, turning, falling.

there it is. the answer. awaiting me. and i can breathe yet again. i don't miss him anymore.

Choking on Thrown Stones

I lay awake at night

pondering aimlessly in my bed

as I allow the music fill my ears

and await for a nightly visitation

from the man who keeps the sand

time passes and I lay awake

holding restless aches within

venturing as to where I may find

a glass of water to soothe my mind

returning to my scene of slumber

upon my bed an imp sits in wait

staring through me before upon me

it smirks and nods as to giving a gesture

one that shall suggest my bed lay empty

as to follow its benign nature

it preforms in an act of vanishment

the hour upon this night in which I wake

seems to have become too late

closing of eyes to ponder once more

for the coming of nightly tomorrow

it may lay in wait yet again

grief stricken

Tapping upon translucent glass as if none had seen it. Vibrations disturb the hands that hold so much responsibility yet cannot hold anything at all. Moments flickering, stopping, starting, then jumping to as where they do not belong, creating a sensation of dismay.

Tapping on the glass and moments pause, skip ahead and become lost, rewriting history as if never to have happened upon Earthly ground. Shattered thoughts, robbed from those who once dreamed of such delights.

Tapping on the glass and the memories fade, become lost and never to have happened.

Least They Know

cover your mouth
less the evils crawl out
twist and turn
to mold into what
cannot be seen
under the power of control

Speak of Black

i stand upon the top
it over looks all
and all i wish to see
one step to make me
take it and i could have all
that is there that lies before me
yet i dont know which way it is
one step to break me
take it and it all comes crashing down
nothing or no one to save me

Five O' Clock Shadow Before the Dawn

you hold a gun in your hand

but can you see what I hold in mine

that tongue of yours never seems to sleep

as mine is always looked upon

for an answer that cannot be heard

for I am nothing like you nor will I be

you may choose to turn your head

or close your eyes in this changing time

but mine are open and hand stretched forth

for we both know things will change

regardless of how ignorant

you may choose to be

ignorance may be bliss

but your bliss is just a defence

for what is and has come to be

like all defences this one too

will begin to crack and come to pass

Nothing But Lines

rain drops filled with a single memory

each falling of rain like the telling of a story

here within a time and a place

each rain storm is transformed into

the telling of a thousand lives and beyond

wind does blow an the words are shaken

they fall one after another

coming together altering rainfall

into an endless story

puddles grow and time does fade

the rains are gone and the words have stopped

reflecting emotions grow louder as the

air is filled with an abundance of an earthly silence

once rested grey skies now begin

to transition into a speckled black

a nightly abyss holds its own secrets

flickering, twinkling, telling;

this endless endeavor too has something to say

As the Streets Become Filled with Water

you, they, he, I and she

wander between the seemingly endless maze

that has become to make up the outer defences

broken they must be and the empire will tremble

begin to fall as their defences begin to suffer

burnt and red the walls change under kiss of sun

satisfied with only but to succeed we leave

not to turn a head in the destruction behind

your, their, his, mine, and her

lives continue for a walk upon two feet

When I Ride You

you must be weary of the morning shadows
they filter around the corners of the dawn
our star tries so hard to void them out
yet they still find a way to creep in
morning shadows know no bounds
upon trees, on rocks, under foot
that is where they hide
that is what they have become

holding onto what they know

night leaves them behind

cold and empty they are left

alone to travel aimlessly

within the murky hours of twilight

until at last the star we all know

begins to win its battle

warding them off they fall

out of view, far from home

yet we all know their secret

they'll be back for another fight

Blood on the Computer

heavy eyes and soap shavings

this is not the world i remember

when shadow is allowed

to overcome the walls

the vines wont be able to succeed

moonlight can only hold it off for so long

before she herself becomes consumed

within its echoing dark past

although that's just a day we must look to

one far beyond the west

that is a world i wont remember

heavy eyes speak poems and

stoplights choose to change their color

Rough Carpet Beneath

ear to the floor and they say that they want more, that they need more. take it away and you just cannot hear. lower the level, the sounds simply come back. broken and partial, the line grows longer. hear their lives through the bottomless floors. reverberations off the walls into your mind.

I Watched You Laugh

roll your eyes from right to left

across the floor be sure they know the rest

the window will not open

until the wind shows its face

coming from hilltops and where its been laid to rest

for here nor there can no leaf fall

from cantaloupe changing to Canterbury

it cannot lie without the rest

One Less

they just couldn't seem to tell him

the truth that was behind all the tears

and it continued to well up inside

days gone by and him not knowing

the words lay torment to their minds

their mouths shutter and stop at the thought

the tongue lay still for the pain is too much

he still does not know the pain of truth

When I Know the Road Calls My Name

from end to end, to the moon and back

the distance within a setting of time

when not a soul is there to watch me pass

to catch me gazing out the window

to help me realize that I'm not alone

the help i wish i shall not see

street signs and road maps are all I'll read

distance grows then shrinks, only to grow once more

filtering through the artificial jungles

finding a way out before i even begin

not knowing is the only thing I'll know I'll want

not north, nor south, no right, no left, no wrong

civilized trails are calling and they wish to greet me

they, nor I care to determine a destination

for i wish for this to never come to an end

but as everything must, it cannot last

until that one fateful night that shall come

where the sun's torture feeds into the dark

as i lay restless in my hours of sleep

taking only a pause from the tossing and turning

i can hear a distant voice that knows my name

that calls upon me in the open night

and it's there that I'll flee once more

False Momentum

your castle begins to burn to the ground all around you

the flames tare at all you have come to know

the heat rises within the its walls

yet you continue to sit upon your thrown

not moving but your hand to wipe the beads of sweat that run down your temples

the walls begin to give in to gravity

the large stones that make up the roof start to fall

one at a time, then faster and faster

sunlight pears through the now open wounds of your once home

crumbling, succumbing to the flames of retribution

the fortification meant to protect you has become your demise

It Tasted So Sweet

the taste of posion lingers on your lips as you move away from mine. the thought of death begins to linger upon your mind. walking back and forth upon the surface of your imagination. leaving behind foot prints as to where it has wondered. each one sending an intense visualization before your very eyes. fingers that you recognize as your own run over your lips before pulling them away. your look of confusion changes at the hands of what is happening, morphing into the subtle expression of shock that flows across your face, only to be washed away from the coming fear of the uncertainty of what comes next. quivering inside your own body your eyes attempt to make one final connection. staring deep into mine searching for the answer to that one word question; why? your chest begins to freeze, halting its exchange for fresh breathable air. knees buckle as gravity takes you, leaving you motionless on the floor where we once made love. eyes beginning to glaze over while your lively skin takes on a shade of pale, a color of blan that can only be painted by death. your body lay there intimately upon the naked floor which begins to steals your now unneeded warmth. sitting upon a chair in the far off dark corner, my eyes scan over your limp body as a smirk erupts upon my face.

Tip Your Hat

i sit on the porch and stare up
into the dark unknown
looking for what i might never find
an answer to all my questions

Taste You One Last Time

i watch you sit there
and make out with mannequins
as if trying to breath life into them
cold and lifeless bodies
longing for them to return the love
you so desperately give them

all i can do is sit here
and watch as you try so hard
while i make the smallest effort
and make love to someone real

Atlas

feel the pain. the darkness surrounding me. nothing i want. no motivation. pushing things away. i have been here before. its a dark and eerie place. never wished to be back here. cant seam to bring myself to smile. can even find the darkness on the sunniest days. don't know who to turn to anymore. i drive them away. cant always listen to the voice from within. yet it is so strong and has its say. drive the knife deeper yet. the cold steel is felt against my beating heart. can i be the only one. i feel so alone. might as well be on mars. cant breath anyway. frustration take my lungs hostage. trapping the air from moving. becoming stagnant. cant last much longer. isolation seems to me my cure for now. its all i feel. its all i want. not sure who to trust in these days that we now live. day to day the sun comes up. and yet all i see is the darkness it creates. there is nothing that you or i can do about it. we all must play the game. its an easy concept and yet we struggle with it so. but is this suppose to be. are we to struggle. people say its a test. it strengthens us. allowing us to move forward. but when you live in darkness there clearly is no light. no reason. no purpose to move forward. all the while here i am. alive and taking up space in this forever shrinking world. where do i come in. where do we all come in. when it is that we cant combine our efforts. we cant unite under one power to bring about peace and a way of life that allows us to simply live life. for years to come. who do we turn to now to save us. our neighbor. our family. our friends. where are we to turn when you yourself don't know who to trust any longer. times of darkness we have reached. a period of darkness i find myself in. alone. you cant see the writing on the wall when the room you reside in holds no light.

Ego

run to the bathtub for your soup is boiling. slip on the soap and add some flavor. dripping cold water hits the surface. steam rises and peals the wallpaper. gravity holds onto the fallen paper of wall and wont let go. added color to soup masks the bottom of the pot and coats the spoon made from wood of the amazon. picking up flavors along the way.

Look Up

take me back to the stars

for i wish to dance among

them one last time

with you in your arms

bring me to the moon

and let us take a walk

upon its silky surface

for i cannot think of

anything more romantic

let us make our way

to the milky way

for i want to lie within

it one last time with you

may we find our way

to the ends of the system

cause one last dip

on Neptune would sooth

my achy thoughts

may we never forget

sitting upon the rings of Saturn

those warm evenings

watching as the enchanting

comets would streak across the galaxy

let us not forget

those cold nights on Pluto

so alone with no one

but you and your warmth

Sad Times

i know its wrong. and i know i should feel this way. but i do. there is no way out. I'm being pulled apart on the inside. while on the outside i show nothing. i need out.
not being able to see my friends or even being able to get out of the house, sorry my mistake "house." I'm a prisoner in a place that i never wanted to be anyway. and i hate it here.
i cant feel anymore, anything positive anyway. there are no good feelings that surge through my body and i hate not feeling good about myself.
I'm irritated all the time and its taking me down. its dragging me down. and i don't know how much longer i can hold it together. and i hate not knowing if ill even want to get up tomorrow.
I'm surrounded by people who don't care. they look after themselves and that is. its not right when they have obligations. some people should never be parents, and i got stuck with two of them. not to mention a sibling that would rather see the world end than to extend her hand out t help someone. i fee nothing for them anymore, nothing but hate.
the majority of the people that fill this world are evil. and they take it out on people that stand out against the norm. its not right of them. and still they do it, not caring. we will destroy ourselves. and i don't think that day is too far ahead. this world is ruined and i hate it.
I'm in an ocean of sound. lost at sea with no map and no wind. i have no energy left to row. my ship will go down. and i have no voice to scream out, no on hears me anyway and i hate that.
I've got no will, no way and no say. what is life without. what has happened to me.
i hate everything.

Breath of Explosion

I sit alone in the dark listening to the music my fingers create
and beyond the murmur of this beautiful piano
I hear a low roar as if a plane was sweeping the sky for clouds
I freeze myself in time and lie in silence
I look to the window as if it would help me to hear the roar better
out of the corner of my eye I see my over used water bottle
the water shows that it may be more than just a sound
the glass beings to dance while the pictures upon the wall fear
upon standing I make my move and pull back the curtains
through the thickening darkness created by the trees a light, two of them
moving slowly straight for the house in which I reside
I know what it is and my body fills with adrenaline and excitement
there was always a reason for the gun cabinet to always be unlocked and ready
they are coming and will not accept anything but the death of me
the boots now upon my feet and the jacket enclosing the holsters underneath
the cabinet fears for it now is lonely and has not but any company
impregnated holsters while my hands feel the cold clean feel of raw power
a crunch echoes across the midnight soaked lawn as the rock underneath makes contact
I find comfort in darkness for I am death itself and nothing short of a creature of night
lights shine across the cottage that held my protection against the day
the metal rolling creature opens releasing its deadly bastards that look to the moon
entering the house from all sides as if planned to ambush it backfires
unknowingly they walk into the monstrosity that I left specifically for them
the night becomes showered with a fiery display of orange and yellows
contrast becomes great as the once flying red and silver pieces now rest upon the green
my impression is left in the earth as I stand watching the demolition among the trees
nothing left but death allowing my journey to continue onward until first light

Rant Away

i cant take this anymore. i really cant see anything worth looking forward to, cause there is nothing for me. i have no one. i have nothing. i am nothing. i see no point in it all anymore. i do nothing. i have nothing to show for myself. i just cant take it anymore. the long lonely nights, the cold days alone. they are always the same. my life means nothing. its the same every day, and its nothing short of sad and pathetic. i cant be who i want without ridicule following me. i feel no comfort where i lay my head. i cant do anything i want. i cant see the people i want. i want to cry but pain blockades the tears from falling. music has not a hold upon me any longer, it means nothing. i feel nothing from it, and more simply i feel nothing but pain and misery. and at this point i blame people, and not just me. for it is not just my blame to have. sure its me that has no motivation to do anything. yet when i do try to look into things to move my life along, they get fucked up by a huge wall in the road. so i share the blame with the builders of the wall, my parents. ignorant. stupid. foolish. they are what i never hope to be. no money. no house. no life but work. all blanketed with lies. and their problems get passed right on to us, their children. no college fund. no responsible decisions. no willingness to be the parent. i have in the past stepped up, to make dinner, take care of the ones that needed caring, tending of the house. no parent should sit back while the child slaves. i want it all to end. there is no point. and i blame them. living in a house that isn't ours. sharing a room with them. i have no privacy. no say. and all i feel is pain. hatred. anger. i want away from them forever. but nowhere to go and no how to get there. i am trapped here. to suffer alone. all caused by the hands of their poor fucking decisions. and their answer; got to pull together and get through this hard time. bullshit. this is their problem and we are the ones to suffer, i am the one to suffer. never any food. no conversation. i am alone. all i ever hear are arguments, bitching and excuses, when there is room for none. parental responsibilities have for so long been pushed upon me, when they sit and do nothing. fed up. and with no one to turn to. beginning to think i have not a friend. life just doesn't seem worth the battle without laughter, happiness, truth, freedom, beauty, friendship, and most of all love. and now once again i begin to see death in the corner, and he looks so inviting.

Before It Can Stop

schools suffer

under the thumb

of corrupt bureaucrats

causing a reverberation

throughout the

generations to come

Desire Sleeps In My Chest

rain falling upon the roof of the car
wiper blades streaking across the windshield

street lamp casting shadows across your face

your irresistible eyes gleaming in the darkness

fog collecting upon the windows surrounding us

the sound of your beating heart shows your nerves

the feel of your short course hair

your warm skin under my caressing touch

your hand in my hair pulls me in

shortening distance plays in slow motion

eyes shut as i begin to feel your breath against my face

contact between our lips ignites a surging sensation

temperatures rise giving birth a beads of sweat

electricity bonds our lips creating a seal of raw passion

bodies become one being intertwined in the reclined seat

our euphoric dream could not be shattered by anything

Bliss

you cause me the torture
of lying awake at night
with you on my mind

my heart races toward you
and slows time to be with you
for that much longer

to feel your touch
is like poison that surges
through my body
paralyzing me in my tracks

your voice can be
compared to that of sirens
you draw me in
and devour my mind

your kiss is that of death
felt in the heart
clutched by your very hand

your body burns my eyes
with pure radiance that
emulates about you

the scent that lingers
is that of torture
making sure that
i shall never forget

i see your face and

look upon your eyes
ill never forget the
whisper from your lips

She Walks With a Tophat

judge not by the sun
for it slumbers gently
listen carefully
for the moon whispers
what it can

ice forms within a blistering desert

yet does not melt when

the sun casts its rays

upon the shimmering surface

a subtle hint of laughter emits

within a room of darkness

and becomes crucified

even at its own thought

I give you

somebody else's name

because i do not

know my own

Midnight Rendezvous

escaping from the darkness

every breath is all you can hear

attempts to avoid the sound

that lurks around every corner

one slip of the foot destroys it

motionless waiting for clearance

no stirs and its all clear

continue on in the dark

gathering the needs

to make a clean get away

the key turns and engine hums

bright lights flash unwantedly

creeping out past the trees

mission has become accomplished

Super Sonic

take my hand, pull me close
i want to feel the warmth of your skin





stand with me in the rain
allow it to was away our sins
let it take the troubles from us
and leave us to dance another day







shows trying to be inventive
putting a woman as president





you may want to break out
but ill be breaking in

Naughty Street Signs

there's this place we once knew
hard to get to and has no map
it takes a common mind to find
it's path that leads the way

green trees mixed with jelly beans
a tune in ours heads
and words in our mouths
combined to share our moments

clear your mind to open the door
take in the surrounding silence
it will take you to another realm
all you have to do is find the key

lying in a circle beneath the sky
passing air between our mouths
in sync creating a soothing song
something we find ourselves doing often

This Pen is Red, It's Ink is Red, Does That Mean All Ink is Red?

found ink on my fingers this morning

again it has happened without a reason in mind

the walls paralyze my sight

while bringing a chill about my body

leaving me feeling numb once again

He's the Kind of Guy You Want So Bad it Makes You Sorry

i only wish something could change my world

broken to pieces and falling apart

it lies helpless in a void

that once use to be filled by joy

i have lost the map long ago

and the compass is nowhere in sight

its like my words pass right through

landing in pools of sorrow

thoughts tumble through my mind

causing me grief and torment

its time to close this chapter

and begin anew

with a little help

from my friends

i believe i can

i just want somebody to love

Feels So Right

do you remember that night
when the moon hit the lake
and we were there to see it
that's what i want to remember

do you recall the moment
that our eyes first met
locked together we couldn't look away
that's how i think of it

Feel the Hex

there they sit. day in and day out. sitting together. like they have no jobs. yet where is the money coming from. but that's not important. what is is that they re always together. a group of friends. sitting. laughing. smiling. sharing conversation. day in and day out. they are together. you can see that they are close, just by the way they look at each other. sharing time. moments. make me think. will i have that later. ever. again. friendship. companions. people to laugh with. people to hold you up. people to be comfortable around. people that know you. people you go to for advice. will i be fortunate enough that will grace my life again. a close knit of friends. people you can count on. always. never let you down. yell at you for no reason. people you can love to be with. people that you can say things that only they will get. people you can love. people you can call friends.

Hey I Know You

ladies and gentlemen

asswhipes and fuckers

whores and pimps

i invite you to come

completely free of charge

to his once in a lifetime event

well maybe not just once but several

of the official grand opening of

BRIAN'S GOING CRAZY

fun for all ages

spectacular shows

fire eaters

musclemen

contortionists

intrigue

danger and even

romance!!!

come one come all!!!

SEE. YOU. THERE.

Chaos Coming on Strong

floods. hurricanes. wildfires. droughts. tornadoes. blizzards. come on people, you would have to live under a rock to not see for yourself that the evidence is all over the news. i think the Mayans and Nostradamus got it right, 2012 in looking too good. it all makes perfect sense. not following? let me explain. in the past like three years storms systems and weather overall has been getting worse. getting more intense and dangerous. record flooding in the past year has graced our doorsteps. Katrina decided to be a bitch and crashed mardi gras. not to mention the fucking snow fall record that we saw like 2 weeks ago. and who do we have to thank? you guessed it; ourselves. yay global warming! now for all you non-global warming people who think its all fake, lets just say ignorance may be bliss but there is a point at which you are a fucking retard. its happening whether you want to believe it or not, its not just some bullshit scare tactic that the government has boiled up, which i guess wouldn't be surprising but its not the case this time. now granted the earth does go into warm and cold periods throughout its time but it doesn't advance this fast. that would be all us. the burning of bullshit and whatnot. although going green, which people should anyway, is kind of helping, but its too late. we have gotten too far into our history without looking into the green light for us to not be effected. the earth's population has grown too much and it continues to grow. within our lifetime we will see the breaking point. the tipping point at which the earth cannot hold its population, there will be not enough food. especially since the climate is going to shit. droughts will destroy any chance of farming. Africa, the us, ans Asia will be of no use as far as farming, the biggest farming areas in the world. the breadbaskets of the world will shift to Canada and Russia. the world will look on at the destruction with empty stomachs. but enough about how we fuck ourselves, back to the destruction of ...well us. ancients say that in the year 2012, which is in three years by the way, the world will end or become unlivable or fuck if we really know, but sit is going to go down in 2012. now i have come up with a hypothesis of how, if it becomes true which it looks like it will, the world will become lets say unlivable. with this global warming thing right on our asses, its going to make things hard to live with. storms systems and weather overall is going to become more dangerous, cause more damage to our cities and land, ruin our farms with droughts, and flood our low lands. hurricanes are going to become more frequent and of higher intensity, not allowing us to recover fom the last. food shortages will scour the world and kill millions. as we progress closer to 2012 the weather will continue to get worse. so with this 2012 may just be the year in which the weather becomes too much for us. that may how we go out. people will continue to die by the hand of weather. we are at the mercy of mother nature, and let me tell you, we have pissed her off. this is just my theory, take it if you like. but it makes sense, complete sense.

Sink Your Teeth In

walk out into the midnight

and sit with the silence

allow the gentle wind

to calm your nerves

close your dreary eyes and

lie back while you feel

the grass that lies beneath

caress your skin

Guess

in a row boat in the middle of a lake.




in the middle of a field full of tall grass like in ATU.




in a snow cave.




in the deep, dead forest.




while camping in a tent or outside it




out on the end of a dock of a lake




in a janitors closet or something like that




some random person's apartment




in the pouring rain







on a balcony of the tenth floor







in an elevator







in a castle on the cold stone floor







in a field in the middle of the night under a full moon







in a empty middle of nowhere warehouse







on a piano while someone is playing epic music



backstage of a concert or play while its going on

Hunger for More

you go to a friends house for dinner. you sit down and have never had what lies before you on the table. you try it. its nasty. you re not a jackass, at least not here, not now. you continue to eat it and you finish your plate. yet you are still hungry. what is it you do next? do you continue to eat it even if you do not like it just because you are still hungry, and it's there now, done for you? or do you say you are full and simply find something else to eat later because you could not have any more of the nasty food. do you take more because of convenience even though its not that great. or do you scour to find food else where at a later time? then ask yourself this; am i talking about food?